So I’ve been alone for over five years now and have recently delved back into the world of dating, specifically by going on sites. This is just a little vent today. Ignore if you want.
I’ve been on a few sites. Not sure why, because basically they are mostly the same.
The free ones are mostly scammers.
The paid ones have mostly scammers on them, too. Out of ten messages I got the other night – 7 were scammers. One said ‘good morning’, the other said I ‘deserved a flirt’ and the other guy used his words. I like words. Guess who I’m talking to and have an actual date with? Yes. Word Guy.
Scammer are pretty easy to tell.
Profiles: Out of state. One or two pictures, and mostly of only their face in what comes to look very staged (because they are – stolen from other people, often models) after you see a few of them. They are usually widowed with one kid. Right now, they are probably working overseas….Nigeria anyone??? They want you to either facebook or Yahoo instant message them Right Now. They don’t get on this site, often you see. And/or their time is running out. Its right there in the profile! “You all can use this nasty ol’ site if you want. Me, I’m too important!” No, buddy, you’re a scammer. (The latest profiles scammers are streaming right now have their ‘real’ names for FB in ALL CAPS separated by spaces – I guess to let us know its a SECRET).
IF a scammer manages to put up a ‘normal’ profile and you get sucked in, you can usually tell from the first message. Your smile blinded him. How can you be so wonderful? Questions? No – they neither ask nor answer them! More than likely because English is their third language – or there are multiple people answering your notes and going off a stock phrase book.
Scammers – always suspect and ask something specific, the same question – in your first and second note. “where did you go to school” “Tell me your first car” “Describe your last meal” anything practical, but weirdly – they just never answer specifics. its all flowery words and OMG I love you so already. Let’s walk on the beach! See the sunset!
Report them. Frustratingly, you never hear if they get blocked or not. But honestly – they won’t let me put my book covers up on the sites, so there is someone there monitoring something. If I can tell these profiles are scammers, why can’t the people who do this for a living? Curious.
My latest book cover. I’d put it on the site! Love it!
Then there are nine tenths of ‘real’ guys. They do short profiles. Which are fine – dates are for finding things out. But most of them also don’t speak.
A FLIRT IS NOT SPEAKING. A flirt is the least you can do, and still do something. I rarely answer a flirt, I’m actually kind of insulted. I’m worth more than a button click – if you don’t think I am – move on. Say something, then ask me a question. 2 lines. You can DO it, I have faith! Then when I reply, and I will – we have a conversation going!
But no. I’m not giving you my phone number and I’m not calling you before I learn a little something about you. I KNOW you don’t like computers! So – you signed up for a dating site….why again? You know, on the computer? Suck it up and try a little. I don’t ask for much, but I work two jobs from this phone and I’m not handing the number out to you unless you give me a good reason. Not liking computers isn’t a good reason. Try.
A friend put up something on her FB page “I don’t want a knight in shining amour. I want a weirdo who makes me laugh.” Yeah. That.
Now back to writing about my pretend alpha males and dreaming of that weirdo.